All in Creative Living

My writing has all but stopped while I've tended to this sinus infection. I haven't been able to think clearly. I haven't been able to keep up with my daily practices of meditation, self-reflection, and my gratitude journal has sat untouched, gathering dust. I've forgotten what being healthy feels like. I miss exercising.

The day after we quit ministry, we hit the road for an undetermined amount of time and, unbeknownst to me, a chasm as vast as the Grand Canyon began to grow between what I believed and what the church had always taught me to believe. I didn't fall into it, I jumped into it.

I will continue to write as clearly as I can, and I can tell you this: I won't hide my words behind fluffy sentences or vague mentions, alluding to hidden meanings using cleverly crafted innuendos. These words will represent me as fully as I am in the moment they are typed, and I will be unafraid to publish those that may or may not offend. I cannot worry about offense and shield my truth.

The seeking is what fills me; the longing a romantic relationship of mine that I ache for. Landing on answers has never been the point of my quest. With every year I age, things change, and I have to accept each leg of my journey as explorative and beneficial to the next. What I know today will only be added to with my continued learning tomorrow, so why stop? Why be satisfied with there being only one way, only one answer?

"I want to have a lasting experience with God. Sometimes I feel like I understand divinity of this world, but then I lose it because I get distracted by my petty desires and fears. I want to be with God all the time. But I don't want to be a monk, or totally give up worldly pleasures. I guess what I want to learn is how to live in this world and enjoy it's delights, but also devote myself to God."

Everything we are doing - the mundane work to pay the bills paired with the risks of business ownership and creative writing with the intent to publish - is to get us back to life on the road, in a constant state of travel. I'm learning that the plan sometimes requires stillness and dedication, where risky meets routine dressed in slacks and button-ups, so you can achieve a shared goal.